‘I just proved them wrong,’ says adult grad

Mark Clairmont | MuskokaTODAY.com

GRAVENHURST — Cody Herbert isn’t much for pomp and circumstance.

He was reluctant to don cap and gown for his Grade 12 graduation photo Wednesday morning at the Marriott hotel.

And he said he felt “uncomfortable” with the class photo before he received his diploma.

“With the whole thing,” he said in the courtyard beforehand.

Indeed, while everyone dressed their “best.”

Herbert wore the Muskoka tuxedo — a simple red and black checkered fleece shirt.

His comb over and tattoos said “hurry up.”

He looked like he would love to have been anywhere but here.

They say the camera never lies.

But you’d be wrong in this case.

Looks are deceiving; and Herbert knows not to judge a book by its cover.

A glimpse into the man behind the austere character or the character behind his stoic presence was the candid photo after the official and family portraitures.

When they were asked for a few candid shots, it was like there were 20 different personalities all fighting to get out.

The perfect smiles that were on social media within minutes — and framed on family walls in the coming days — turned into laughter.

It was like they were kids again running out of school on the last day of classes and throwing their books and papers in the air.

It was a mix of relief and adrenalin — the end and the beginning.

But a closer look at the photo, on the right, just inside the hand of administrative head Melody Dart and fellow teacher Andrew Churchward, is Herbert.

He’s actually got a big smile and he’s horse playing with another teacher, Doug “the Big Guy” Ronson.

Both are enjoying the moment.

Maybe not surprising, considering the bond Herbert had with Ronson and Dart, who he credited with helping him graduate.

In his valedictory address (the other was given by Wesley Firth) Herbert defied looks.

While his graduation was not entirely unique, he articulated as a valedictory should the sentiments of what it meant to hold his coveted first diploma in hand.

For it turns out he did want to be here; and he represented his classmates in an appreciative way that brought tears to more than 75 people who hung on his every word.

His speech was pretty typical all in the room would agree and most could relate to.

Graduating’s not easy, he said to silent applause.

Home and mental health, bullying and alienation in “regular” school are all part of the amazing and deeply personal and touching story he told.

“I just proved them wrong,” the 29-year-old high school graduate said.

But he beat the odds, which he said were that for every one of the grads, there are 20 who can’t but could be standing where he was in front of his peers and mentors.

He thanked his teachers and the invaluable program the Gravenhurst Alternative Education and Training Centre provides. Words that, no doubt, heard loud and clear by Larry Hope, the Trillium Lakelands District School Board education director who heard every piercing word.

Proof that adult education is paying off as much or more than “regular” primary and high school.

Now we’ll let Herbert tell his inspiring story in his own incredibly powerful and plaintive words.

You’ll be hearing more in the future from this “failure.” He plans to go on to study addiction counseling at college. Expect him to be a Doug Ronson or Melody Dart before and on one graduation day.

Cody Herbert’s valedictory address:

“Address the crowd/thank everyone for coming.

I never thought I would be graduating and giving a speech.

If you asked me 10 years ago where would I be – I wouldn’t be able to give you an answer. And if I did, I know it would definitely not have been something to do with education.

I’m 29-years old- and just now graduated high school.

Society would look at this and me as a failure in most cases.

I just proved them wrong.

Everyone here has sacrificed things to be where you are today; it takes a strong person to do that. It takes a strong person to continue to do that.

If from this day on, and you will, ever doubt yourself, capture this moment, this

day, because you did this.

No one did this for you. You all can and should be proud of what you’ve accomplished.

High school and the curriculum are hard as is; throw in being a teenager, bullying,

mental illness and you’ve got a good recipe for someone not to graduate.

We need places like this to exist, and to continue to exist.

Not everyone will flourish or even be able to cope enough to go a regular school.

This was the problem I faced. I couldn’t handle, the chaos of large crowds, the

constant fear if I’m going to get jumped, or teased.

I couldn’t deal with trying to figure out why I had to touch my lock 47 times, or the thousands of other rituals and anxiety attacks on a daily basis.

Which in turn would make me late for class, raised my anxiety even more, and made me feel embarrassed.

My grades suffered, fights with my parents about school became more frequent.

I went from being an out-going kid, to a terrified shell of a person.

I started skipping class to avoid people, and the anxiety that came with just existing at a school.

This took a toll, I needed comfort.

How do you comfort someone if you don’t know?

what’s wrong?

This is where drugs came in, and completely killed any chance of going to

school.

I tell all you this to show you I’m human, just like you. To show you cases like

mine are a dime a dozen.

Sadly, for everyone here with their own story, theirs is also a dime a dozen. With no help or resources, for every one person here, there are at least 20 that will not receive their diploma.

This is why I said places like this need to exist.

I can only take so much credit for the reason I’m graduating. Yes, I did the work, but I didn’t always understand it.

Smaller classes with a relaxed learning environment, promotes creativity, feelings of safety, acceptance, and wanting to do better.

This is also where teachers like Doug, and Mel come in.

I cannot thank you both enough for what you’ve done for me. I am truly grateful

for your kindness, your patience, and of course your constant support.

Doug, big guy, I don’t know what to say – you are one in a million. You are one

of the greatest people I’ve met in years.

You pushed me when I wanted to give up, both at the gym and math. Thank you so much, for not only showing me how to do algebra, but life lessons I will always cherish.

Mel, you are one of the kindest, most supportive people in the world.

Your constant “you’ve got this” attitude has done more for me than you’ll ever know.

I apologize for my procrastination that causes you anxiety.

If all teachers cared half as much as these two, drop-out rates would not exist.

Not only do I look up to them for their profession, I look up to them as simply amazing

individuals.

If you know Doug, I can tell you he indeed did not pay me to say anything nice about him.

Again, thank you both.

I’d like to also thank my dad, Richard. Thank you for getting me help, thank you

for being there for me, most of all thank you for your continued love and support.

I would also like to thank my mom, Heather.

She can’t be here today, because she suffers from Alzheimer’s, but thank you Mom – this was tough but no where near what you face every day.

I love you, I’m sorry it took so long.

I talked earlier about mental health. It plays a huge factor, not only for education,

but for everyone in everything they do. The stigma about it is there, and it is very real.

There needs to be more awareness and information about it.

Don’t let embarrassment stop you or anyone you know from getting help. People are not here to graduate because of the stigma of mental health, and that just shouldn’t happen.

It’s a little early in the day, and I don’t think they are serving alcohol.

But, instead of raising your glass, with something that a lot of people self-medicate with, and society deems this as alright to do so. I need everyone to raise one finger, like this. Doug, wrong finger. This stands for I, and 1.

One out of every 10 people has or will suffer from a type of mental illness.

This is for you, because I survived, I did this, and so can you.

Thank you.”